Did a Bloodless Coup at a High School Inspire JOINERS?
Have we outgrown the PTA?
When Parents Lead (But Not the Way You Expect)
My mom staged a bloodless coup d’PTA at Bethesda-Chevy Chase High School. It wasn’t to ban books, protest social and emotional learning, or any of the other “reasons” parent activism makes headlines these days. She pushed the school to host an International Night.
It took me 25 years to realize: this was the seed. JOINERS1 was already germinating through her activism, in partnership with the school’s ESL Coordinator, to organize a celebration of the school’s diverse student body. Located in the heart of Bethesda2, Maryland, B-CC was relatively small (just 1,1513 students at the time) but its boundaries and feeder patterns made it one of the most diverse high schools in the county, both by languages spoken and student demographics.
The Hidden Costs of Showing Up
B-CC was a special4 place to go to high school. On paper, it had all the fixins’: sports, college-going culture, AP and IB classes, and even a parent-run foundation. But parent participation often works like a zero-sum game: when one parent joins a board or committee, another is quietly excluded from the room.
Schools are often designed around white, middle-class norms. So are most parent volunteer opportunities—timed for those who live nearby, have flexible work, and can ‘swing by’ during the school day5. And while some school events happen at night, they often conflict with night shifts or caregiving duties.
These patterns may seem harmless. But they can send a message—intended or not—that only some parents care enough to be involved.
But many families face invisible barriers—like inflexible work, lack of transportation, or unwelcoming school hours. This “opportunity hoarding”—even of volunteering—becomes one way in which some parents receive covert messages that they’re not welcome in school, as adults.
From International Night to Harvard Readings
Dr. Sara Lawrence-Lightfoot talks about this sort of reopening of old wounds and pain from when parents were students themselves in The Essential Conversation in a chapter aptly titled, “Ghosts in the Classroom.” We got to read this in one of my favorite grad school courses, Dr. Karen Mapp’s “The Why, What, And How Of School, Family, Community Partnerships.”
Dr. Lawrence-Lightfoot’s push for educators to consider not just students and parents—but the parents’ own histories with school—stopped me in my tracks. Of course those failed by an institution in the past would question its ability to serve their children.
I (of course) didn’t realize it at the time, but that class and its readings set the table for the work of JOINERS. When I reconnected with one of the TAs, Paul Kuttner6 recently, he helped me understand why I’ve been so enamored by ideas that make space at the tables that traditionally hold power. JOINERS is part of a larger tradition: equity by design, youth organizing, participatory action research, codesign. All built around proximity, social capital, and shared power.
Paul reminded me he helped with A Match on Dry Grass, Dr. Mapp and Dr. Mark Warren’s study of community organizing and school reform. And since Warren also wrote Democracy and Association shortly after Bowling Alone, I guess we now have Six Degrees of Robert Putnam.
International Night ended up a hit. Families filled the school with food, music, dance—and pride. They weren’t just included; they were invited to lead. It would take ten years and admission to graduate school at Harvard for me to learn that my mom was leveraging families’ “Funds of Knowledge.” These are the culturally grounded skills, histories, and contributions families carry with them, and this was the real power my mom was tapping into in order to improve their relationship and participation (and yes, engagement) at B-CC.
Dr. Mapp’s class, and my mom’s quiet rebellion, helped me see the connective tissue between participation, equity, and infrastructure—what JOINERS is trying to reimagine today. Whether it’s civic clubs, pop-up events, or mutual aid networks, JOINERS keeps coming back to one big question: what helps people feel like they belong and want to build something together, in public space?
The PTA’s Roots and Its Current Rift
But International Night, which brought families to the school in droves during an evening, was not part of the PTA’s plans. If the group tasked with uniting caregivers couldn’t support something this community-affirming, what does that say about its role?
The PTA, like most of the civic institutions in Bowling Alone, formed during the Progressive Era. In the earliest days, the PTA was focused on issues like getting kindergarten into schools. They were originally organizing entities—bringing families together7, finding common ground, and exerting collective pressure. But PTA participation has been declining.
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Robert Putnam sounded the alarm on the collapse of civic associations, including PTAs. He linked it to the rise of parent groups independent from the National PTA—more focused on ‘my kid’ than the collective good. Murray, et al. (2019) goes further: using demographic and nonprofit registration data in North Carolina to show that PTAs disproportionately benefit nonpoor students8.
Rethinking What We Organize Around
So what do we do with PTAs? I was chatting with Josh Nesbit of prosocial.club last week, and his idea is a “PTA 2.0” focused on building the social and relational capital among the school community. I related some of these same worries9 to him, but I do think he’s on to something.
The PTA needs a radical reimagining. Its origins are in a racially and socioeconomically segregated school system, so there wasn’t intentional design for the current organization to match to the needs of the multiracial democracy we have—and that we expect our schools to prepare kids to participate in.
When I was early on this journey, Caitlin Sullivan of Leading Now once told me: public schools are unique among civic institutions—they touch every community and gather nearly every family10. That means every school is already a gathering space—one that must serve all families in a given geography.
What could it look like to activate these schools and spaces with the type of programming that builds community and belonging, exchanges skills and mutual aid, and creates the circles of care and trust that we know can exist—and do improve health and other wellbeing outcomes?
Josh and I don’t have the answers yet—but we’re sure of this: the PTA isn’t broken. It was never designed for the world we live in now. Plus, I told him my readership has hot takes. The PTA doesn’t need a refresh. It needs a redesign—one that matches the multiracial democracy we live in, not the one it was created for.
So tell us: What would get you in the room? What would make you raise your hand? Would you join for a shared meal? A tool library? A dance night? What if it looked more like a cultural potluck and mutual aid than a meeting with Robert’s Rules of Order?
Let us know in the comments or fill out this short survey.
Upcoming Events
June 7, 4-7pm. Lighten Up: Opening Reception. A traveling exhibit at SOBU in Oakland and TC Space in Fort Bragg. 5451 College Ave.
June 12, 6:30pm.The Oaklandside Culture Makers: Sports + Community + Music. A conversation with Oakland Ballers General Manager Laura Geist, Oakland Roots and Soul Sports Club co-founder Tommy Hodul, and Oakland Girls Softball League President Amanda Wentworth moderated by Azucena Rasilla. Tickets at Eventbrite. (Editors Note: This is the latest installment in the event that launched Revival Rounds! What will inspire you?)
June 17, 6:30pm. A Conversation About Adolescence (Zoom). Come ready to share ideas and engage in an open conversation about the powerful themes raised in Netflix's Adolescence! Cohosted by Reichi Lee (My Digital Tat2) & Deepti Doshi. (New_ Public). RSVP at Eventbrite.
July 12, 11am. (Save the Date). Civic Love Block Party. RSVP coming soon.
June 14, 4pm. this is my body: a storytelling showcase. This is my body is a powerful storytelling experience designed for women of color to reclaim their narratives, amplify their voices, and own their truths. Hosted by Novalia Collective. Tickets at Eventbrite.
July 25, 6pm. (Save the Date). JOINERS x Girls Garage: Civic Makers Happy Hour. Full registration coming soon.
September 30, 12pm. A Conversation About Adolescence (Zoom). Come ready to share ideas and engage in an open conversation about the powerful themes raised in Netflix's Adolescence! Cohosted by Reichi Lee (My Digital Tat2) & Deepti Doshi. RSVP at Eventbrite.
For new readers (🤞🏿), JOINERS is the social infrastructure project I’m launching. It’s civic and social infrastructure that provides physical scaffolding and support for youth- and adult-led clubs and organizations.
A friend’s wife swears there was something in the water because of the tight bonds many still hold (e.g., my prom date and her family in San Francisco, and I’m writing this after getting coffee with someone from my studio art class).
7:25-2:15.
Paul also shared about his work for a chunk of the intervening years since grad school at University Partners in Salt Lake City, which seems like a University of Utah-sponsored version of JOINERS, providing physical infrastructure so community members could conduct programming and organizing.
Though not all parents and not all together until the PTA merged with Selena Sloan Butler’s National Congress of Colored Parents and Teachers in 1970.
Again, something my mom probably told me 3 diplomas ago.
I’m nothing, if not consistent.
This admittedly does not solve for the independent, parochial, charter, and other school types.