Things I Forgot I Remembered
Maybe because we missed the 15th reunion due to COVID, I was more aware of flashback memories—moments I thought I’d forgotten—as I walked through campus this weekend for my 20th.
Meanwhile, my biggest worry—explaining why I left a well-paying philanthropy job to start a clubhouse1 just before a recession—haunted me all weekend.
Many of the events were hosted in sparkling new modernist and neoclassical buildings we didn’t recognize, but likely were built with our donations. As I retread2 the campus I was greeted by multisensory memories—smells, tastes, sounds—I thought I’d long forgotten.
I could almost taste the “Carvery” sandwiches that Arthur and Rob fixed up in Holmes Lounge. At Whispers Café, I vividly remembered the texture of the sorta-dry croissant topped with tuna salad and a haphazardly strewn lettuce leaf and tomato. My mouth almost hurt from reimagining sucking a far-too-viscous milkshake through a wimpy straw at Ursa’s. They don’t sell Blue Moon anymore, but I remember exactly how nicely that orange slice complemented a pint at Blueberry Hill—where we first learned to love cloudy beers. And I could almost smell the Subway sandwiches permeating Mallinkrodt Center. Actually, that was a real smell, not a memory, somehow.
All of these were hangout spaces on or near WashU’s campus, and places that are still packed to this day. On Thursday night, there was a line down the block at Blueberry Hill—every reunion attendee across all classes seemed to have the same idea, crowding out the seniors mid-way through their usual, debaucherous, dart-throwing night.
College campuses are full of “third spaces”—places with rituals and routines that help build connection and community. And while the purpose of college is ostensibly to get a degree for human capital development, there’s lots of evidence that a not insignificant part may really be about social capital development.
And they’re good at it—not just because they have great third spaces, but because they actively encourage students to join and create communities of all kinds. My bestie Tom went on trip to build a creek or a hiking path or something somewhere in the southeast and now gardens every day. My friend from high school, Shaul, found his deeper faith at WashU, but that was after first being roommates with our other high school friend, Chaz, in a frat house. Mary is now on TV, but she first did news for the student paper, StudLife.
And while colleges across the board are being labeled as places where free speech is limited and students are hyper polarized, I saw the opposite, with the campus investing real resources to create and incentivize dialogue across difference. The Gephardt Institute for Civic Engagement hosts “The Longest Table” which brings students together in the quad for dinner and debate across ideological differences.
Yes, I’m painting a rosy picture of WashU—and no, they don’t sponsor this newsletter3—but college isn’t accessible for everyone. It’s a luxury to be able to take four years to learn stuff.
But everyone should have the chance to join something—or start something. That’s what JOINERS is about: helping people find spaces to connect, or the support to build their own. Because even when our interests feel particular, we’re never truly the only one. And we shouldn’t have to be alone.
Upcoming Events:
April 9, 7pm: Making Oakland’s Government Work. This event will look at the challenges that SPUR raised in its 2021 report Making Government Work and explore how city governance can adapt to meet the needs of Oaklanders. Free Tickets at SPUR.
April 19, 2pm ET. Find common ground - Addressing Immigration. Braver Angels will bring together an equal number of Reds and Blues to do a deep dive into the topic of immigration. By the end, participants will jointly come up with shared points of agreement, values, concerns, and policies. Sign up free on Eventbrite.
April 25, 5-9pm: JOIN or DIE Screening. Join or Die is a film about why you should join a club—and why the fate of America depends on it. Follow the story of America's civic unraveling through the journey of Robert Putnam, whose legendary "Bowling Alone" research into American community decline may hold the answers to our democracy's present crisis. RSVP on Partiful.
May 4, 9:30-12pm: Make a Miniature Vignette. In this 2.5 hour workshop for adults, you’ll create a miniature scene that features a wall and floor, framed piece of art, console table, miniature books, and clock. You’ll get to customize your space with a choice of art print and mini-framing method, “tile” color and pattern, wall color, clock color, and more. Final dimensions approx. 7.75” tall x 6” wide x 3.7” deep. Hosted by JOINERS regular, Erica Meade.RSVP at Brushstrokes Studio.
Yes, Natalie, you were right about the pitch.
Though it was pouring the entire weekend, so it was mostly skipping around puddles.
Yet.